iPhone is going Bye Bye one day SOON!!!

Prince goes to sleep between 8 and 9pm every night. With the help of a sleep aid.
I stay up later. Check email, do some things online and clean up the house some; before I can shower and go to bed. That usually happens around 11pm.

2:00am "MOMMMAAA!.... iPhone!" at normal volume
2:00am I ignore him.
2:01am "MOMMMAAA!.... iPhone!" at top volume, sweet voice.
2:01am "Go to sleep Princey" in my nicest tone, I swear.
2:02am "MOMMMAAA!.... iPhone!" top volume, not so sweet...
2:02am I ignore him
2:03am "MOMMMAAA!.... iPhone!" top volume, very mean
2:03am "Go to sleep Please!" with my eyes closed.
2:04am "Wake up Momma! iPhone!" back to sweet voice.
2:04am "Princey, go to sleep. You can play in the morning." I return the sweet.
It gets quiet....stays quiet....I close my eyes....
2:15am "MOMMAAAA!....TV on?" very very sugary pout...
I get up, turn on his TV, low volume....I go to bed. I close my eyes.
3:00am "MOMMAAA!....iPhone!" ugh....

This is my night, most nights. From around 2am to 4am. If I am lucky he goes to sleep after the TV is on. If I'm not....we are yelling room to room, between my dozing, the same thing over and over....

Yet, in the morning, which is usually around 6 but sometimes 4-5ish. Its this
"Good morning Momma. Time to get up!"
Ugh.... and its 8:50pm right now... to quote The Lion King....

"It starts..."

And before you say, why does your kid have a iPhone? He doesn't. Its an older android he gets to play games on instead of my new phone.

Sleep is something I am not allowed.

Okay so I never get to sleep.  And I am not talking sleep in, I am talking sleep period!  There is this cosmic presence hanging over my bed that constantly pokes, prods, tickles and crawls all over me after my eyes close!

I have tried meditating, tried pills, tried waiting up until I am exhausted! I still tossed and turn, hurt and ache, itch and scratch until morning.  And that is if my son lets me sleep until morning!  Most of the time he is up before the alarm clock goes off and often hours before.  Some nights its getting him to sleep and I am up half the night doing that, others it is waking up way early and I have to get up and make sure he is okay.

But honestly, somewhere in those  sex ed or home ec. or whatever they are calling it these days, they should have a huge banner that reads as thus:

IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN YOU WILL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN!!!!

This is just a simple fact that they really don't let you in on.  Oh sure, they say  "you aren't going to be getting those extra hours of sleep for the first few months". Or "it will be hard until your child learns to sleep through the night". No. What they don't say is that if your kid is the least little bit hyper you are always going to be up before the chickens and not go to bed until midnight or later!

I don't understand what it is, why my son never sleeps. But if anyone would like to experience this kind of exhaustion, I suggest babysitting my son for a couple hours.  After all the chasing, running and saying "NO Don't do that" you will be just as exhausted as I am on most days.

One day I will sleep past 6am, maybe I will even make it to sleep past 5.  Oh my gosh I would love to go to bed at like 8pm so that even if my son gets up at five I will have gotten some sleep!